So. First big news in a while.
I was accepted to UNC Chapel Hill for Grad school (my first choice).
Unfortunately, the financial aid info and figures have not come in yet, so I cannot say where I will end up. Also, I should probably at least wait to hear from the other schools. I'm trying not to get ahead of myself. Or get overwhelmed by the thought of looking for housing and arranging for my first time REALLY living away from home.
That's pretty scary. Okay, really terrifying. But it's exciting that I was accepted into a phenomenal program and that my future is starting to take shape. And all my hard work is finally paying off. Which motivates me to keep it up!
Now, everyone hope I get floods of mail about financial aid and offers from other schools so I'm not waiting around to make things actually HAPPEN!!!
I feel such exciting news should warrant a longer entry, but really that's about it for now. Ironic. I've been waiting so long to be able to post about grad school and now I find I haven't got much to say...yet.
Monday, March 1, 2010
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
News!
Hello all,
Time for an update in the life of Amy.
I have a summer job. Not ANY summer job, but a full time, PAID summer job at...*drum roll*
The American Antiquarian Society.
Even though I couldn't give them a definite end date since I don't know about grad school yet, I gave an estimate and promised more concrete details further on. I was so nervous applying, even though it's a summer position for college students, it's still a fairly competitive position and carries plenty of weight on a resume. It's pertinent experience at a reputable research library that's nationally recognized! So of course I still needed to send my resume and a cover letter and I was SO NERVOUS.
The assistant who I work with now said upon graduating college she got a job in special collections somewhere even though she wasn't exactly what they were looking for- they told her that already having hands on experience at the American Antiquarian Society had put her over the other applicants so she got the position!
The man who I emailed said they were planning two projects and he wasn't sure which they'd have me working on yet (he said they'd decided based on which had greater interest to ME when they got more details. How nice is that?!) but he ended the email with "Congratulations-you have a summer job!" so I'm guessing it's pretty solid.
I'm excited to be actively working in my field this summer. I'm so glad to be using all my time productively to get experience at every chance and not have to waste time at a summer job at the mall! It's so great that I'm being productive and giving myself an edge AS I get my degree that will hopefully make it easier to get a job when I get out of school (degree+plus experience seems to be a winning combo).
I'm so excited. I LOVE the people at the AAS, and it's an amazing place. If you ever have a chance, check out the website- it's incredibly impressive!! They have fellows doing work there from all over the country!
Furthermore, having a full time job will allow me to put away money for supplies I'll need for grad school- like miscellenous furniture, books, professional wardrobe. I will be able to get myself all set up!
Here's hoping more good news is soon to follow!
Time for an update in the life of Amy.
I have a summer job. Not ANY summer job, but a full time, PAID summer job at...*drum roll*
The American Antiquarian Society.
Even though I couldn't give them a definite end date since I don't know about grad school yet, I gave an estimate and promised more concrete details further on. I was so nervous applying, even though it's a summer position for college students, it's still a fairly competitive position and carries plenty of weight on a resume. It's pertinent experience at a reputable research library that's nationally recognized! So of course I still needed to send my resume and a cover letter and I was SO NERVOUS.
The assistant who I work with now said upon graduating college she got a job in special collections somewhere even though she wasn't exactly what they were looking for- they told her that already having hands on experience at the American Antiquarian Society had put her over the other applicants so she got the position!
The man who I emailed said they were planning two projects and he wasn't sure which they'd have me working on yet (he said they'd decided based on which had greater interest to ME when they got more details. How nice is that?!) but he ended the email with "Congratulations-you have a summer job!" so I'm guessing it's pretty solid.
I'm excited to be actively working in my field this summer. I'm so glad to be using all my time productively to get experience at every chance and not have to waste time at a summer job at the mall! It's so great that I'm being productive and giving myself an edge AS I get my degree that will hopefully make it easier to get a job when I get out of school (degree+plus experience seems to be a winning combo).
I'm so excited. I LOVE the people at the AAS, and it's an amazing place. If you ever have a chance, check out the website- it's incredibly impressive!! They have fellows doing work there from all over the country!
Furthermore, having a full time job will allow me to put away money for supplies I'll need for grad school- like miscellenous furniture, books, professional wardrobe. I will be able to get myself all set up!
Here's hoping more good news is soon to follow!
Friday, January 15, 2010
Good News
I am excited! My internship is beyond awesome. See, the woman who supervises me is always thinking of me- knowing what I want to go into!
Today she approached me with the possibility of working with the head of manuscripts. She explained that they had to lay off his assistant a year ago and there are PILES of manuscripts that need to be organized and boxed. She asked if I would like to dedicate one of my afternoons each week to helping do that. Since I want to ultimately work with archives, this would be great experience. Sure, it sounds awful intimidating (piling up for a YEAR?!), but of course I jumped at the chance.
Then she says with a sly smile, that she did of course have ulterior motives. Since this guy is a big shot in the archives scene, if i do more projects with him I can use him as a reference- and people will definitely sit up and take notice. Oh I was overjoyed. I wanted to be like thankyouthankyouthankyousomuch! YOUARETHEBEST. But of course, I politely thanked her for thinking of me in a more professional manner.
Then she asked what I was doing for the summer. I said nothing, but I'd heard there were some jobs around for the summer. And she emailed the guy I would be working with to ask him about summer jobs.
He said there would probably be some cataloguing positions and data entry jobs. And that I should send a note to the man in charge of hiring. "Note" translating into resume and cover letter of course! (omg my first professional application of my post graduate life!) And the woman in charge promised me I'd get glowing references from everyone in acquisitions of course!
I am hoping to do some work cataloging since it's more pertinent to experience I'll need. But dude, paid summer job! At a reputable research library! More experience, more references, more knowledge, and PAY!
I am all hyped up and nervous! I also don't know how to mention that I don't know when I will be leaving for whichever gradschool I am going to. I need to ask around on if i should bring that up now, later, and how and where.
I am just bouncing with gratefulness. She also mentioned teaching me a few important things to know just for the sake of teaching me- which is super nice! These people are really great! So that's so very nice news. I think I need to calm down some before starting my cover letter. I know it's just a summer job- but hey- it's a GOOD summer job!
=D Hope I get it!
Today she approached me with the possibility of working with the head of manuscripts. She explained that they had to lay off his assistant a year ago and there are PILES of manuscripts that need to be organized and boxed. She asked if I would like to dedicate one of my afternoons each week to helping do that. Since I want to ultimately work with archives, this would be great experience. Sure, it sounds awful intimidating (piling up for a YEAR?!), but of course I jumped at the chance.
Then she says with a sly smile, that she did of course have ulterior motives. Since this guy is a big shot in the archives scene, if i do more projects with him I can use him as a reference- and people will definitely sit up and take notice. Oh I was overjoyed. I wanted to be like thankyouthankyouthankyousomuch! YOUARETHEBEST. But of course, I politely thanked her for thinking of me in a more professional manner.
Then she asked what I was doing for the summer. I said nothing, but I'd heard there were some jobs around for the summer. And she emailed the guy I would be working with to ask him about summer jobs.
He said there would probably be some cataloguing positions and data entry jobs. And that I should send a note to the man in charge of hiring. "Note" translating into resume and cover letter of course! (omg my first professional application of my post graduate life!) And the woman in charge promised me I'd get glowing references from everyone in acquisitions of course!
I am hoping to do some work cataloging since it's more pertinent to experience I'll need. But dude, paid summer job! At a reputable research library! More experience, more references, more knowledge, and PAY!
I am all hyped up and nervous! I also don't know how to mention that I don't know when I will be leaving for whichever gradschool I am going to. I need to ask around on if i should bring that up now, later, and how and where.
I am just bouncing with gratefulness. She also mentioned teaching me a few important things to know just for the sake of teaching me- which is super nice! These people are really great! So that's so very nice news. I think I need to calm down some before starting my cover letter. I know it's just a summer job- but hey- it's a GOOD summer job!
=D Hope I get it!
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
I dont think I need to say what inspired this after my last entry. It was written quickly, very rough.
Sometimes
Sometimes it comes down to crying
Until the thickest, darkest makeup
Has been turned into grayish smears
In strange blotchy shapes under your eyes.
Then it’s time to take that shuddering,
Exhausted breath, make a cup of tea,
And move on. Because sometimes,
All you can do is say I’m sorry;
I was wrong in the strongest voice you can manage,
And then again, silently, inside,
To yourself. (That part always has to come next.)
Sometimes, fixing it is about remembering to breathe
Until it blows over. About meaning when you say
It wont happen again.
Sometimes, when there is no blowout,
No yelling- just concern and uncomfortable
Confessions, sometimes that’s when it’s the hardest.
When you understand the other side more than your own,
When there is no argument on your tongue,
When it’s about realizations and mistakes-
Those are the talks you remember most,
And those are the times that teach you that
Sometimes the hardest parts of growing up
Happen in the quietest ways.
Sometimes
Sometimes it comes down to crying
Until the thickest, darkest makeup
Has been turned into grayish smears
In strange blotchy shapes under your eyes.
Then it’s time to take that shuddering,
Exhausted breath, make a cup of tea,
And move on. Because sometimes,
All you can do is say I’m sorry;
I was wrong in the strongest voice you can manage,
And then again, silently, inside,
To yourself. (That part always has to come next.)
Sometimes, fixing it is about remembering to breathe
Until it blows over. About meaning when you say
It wont happen again.
Sometimes, when there is no blowout,
No yelling- just concern and uncomfortable
Confessions, sometimes that’s when it’s the hardest.
When you understand the other side more than your own,
When there is no argument on your tongue,
When it’s about realizations and mistakes-
Those are the talks you remember most,
And those are the times that teach you that
Sometimes the hardest parts of growing up
Happen in the quietest ways.
Growing Up.
Sometimes, I think we all need a reality check.
Recently, I was thinking I had everything pretty under control, and for the most part, I do- on paper. But sometimes we all make stupid decisions. No, I didn't get arrested. Or thrown out of school. But I did get caught up in the recent phenomenon of the likes of celebs like Lady Gaga, Adam Lambert and a few other internet celebs who have recently begun getting media attention for pushing the status quo. Or something. I wont lie-I KNOW Lady Gaga weirds people out- sometimes she even does things that offend. It seems like it's the next big thing.
Now I for one, have never been into whatever the "big thing" is at the moment- but this has got me for some reason. I have always been into "gothic" style- real dark make up- chains, baggy clothes- stuff that weirded people out. And when I was a teenager I guess it was a very teenager thing to be into- right? How this started or why I cannot even trace. But recently I have been having a hard time letting it go and the recent popularity of these crazy celebrities was bringing out my inner 16 year old something fierce. I guess I wanted to become my own brand of gothic flashy. I really wanted some cool, outlandish pictures of my own.
Now, when I say outlandish, I mean prop wise. Make-up wise. Black make-up is one thing, but posing with tools and kitchenware is another. But in my mind it was so Lady Gaga- so weird and possibly unflattering- just what I thought the world needed in a sea of Britney Spears. Personally, I find the likes of Lady Gaga refreshing, unexpected and innovative- sometimes in the wrong ways- but that's why I was attracted to her and it was my motivation for trying to develop a gothic version of her style. I wanted to go against the grain in all sorts of ways. I remember writing "I wanna be bizarre and experimental!" and in my head- that's what it was. Experimental. Apparently, I didn't stop long enough to realize "experimental" can be done tastefully with symbolism and subtlety. But, being 21 and dazed by the media- I grabbed my digital camera, my black make up, and whatever gothic outfit i could find and ran off to show the world I was DIFFERENT too.
However, just like experimental doesn't have to be shocking- different doesn't have to be outrageous. Or distasteful.
Oh the things life teaches you. The hard way.
I suppose a little piece of me wanted to be provocative too. Not sexually so- I would never show skin to do so. But yes, provocative- it was that defiant inner 16 year old who wanted to rebel again the norm peeking her head out.
Anyway- so I ran around for a day. Made Christmas photos with knives and axes in a short black skirt. In my head it was a grand project culminating in innovation that went against norms and was my very own gothic brand a'la Gaga.
What it was in REALITY- was a collection of pictures that made me look mentally deranged, possibly emotionally unstable and definitely not a good role model for the younger memebers of my family. And THAT I want way more than whatever vestiges of my inner 16 year old was pining away for, waving mental images of celebrities across my mind.
Furthermore, that kind of action gets celebrities more record sales, magazine covers and attention they use productively.
I however, am an aspiring LIBRARIAN who hopes to go to grad school next fall. And provocation is not the way to get there. Nor is it a way to make my family proud. And that has always been my greatest achievement- making my family proud. It's how I measure my successes. They probably don't realize that- oh well, maybe they do. I have always been star struck by my older cousins- for far longer and in a far, far deeper ways than this silly pseudo obsession with the likes of Lady Gaga and her contemporaries. I have aspired to lead a life like theirs. I can't do that if I insist on indulging my inner sixteen year old. Nor can I if I fail to be the kind of example that makes my extended family proud to lead my younger cousins the way my older cousins led me.
Oh wait, story isn't over.
I posted my pictures on facebook. Yes. the internet. Granted a somewhat private aspect of the internet- the internet is nonetheless the internet. And facebook was where everyone I cared about was. And here I was, still not seeing what these pictures were REALLY portraying.
Here, I would like to say I soon realized that they were inappropriate and unprofessional and soon took them down.
I cannot do that. I was approached by someone I loved very much who was very uncomfortable about them. With every reason, especially considering the brash way I displayed them.
And well, then I saw them for what they were and the consequences they had- not just on a future job but in my mind- more importantly- by affecting how my FAMILY was seeing me.
It was then, I really did see a whole other set of pictures. I felt foolish and naive, and very, very much like a sixteen year old. Sure, I hadn't gone out and found a sketchy photographer and gotten explicit photos of myself that would forever haunt me but by my standards- this was just as bad.
And so, I was given a reality check. About who I really want to be, and what's important to me. About growing up and leaving whatever inner sixteen year old need I have to follow the lead of crazy celebrities BEHIND ME.
This is about realizing I have my OWN identity- my academic acheivement is something I want to define me much more than an adolescent style I haven't been able to let go of.
This post has been very important for me to type out- it's really allowed me to cement my new found goal of learning from this- and moving forward into being a professional, mature young woman.
I will end by admitting, I have had a reoccurring conversation with Chris about how conflicted I have been about leaving behind the style of my youth. Not because I do not want to grow up but because I have always felt beautiful in the outlandish makeup and clothing, I have felt most honest when basing myself off those outlandish figures that I considered to be beautiful and stylish. And I know that the world does not agree with heavy black make up, chains, spikes and ill fitting clothing as what is acceptable. I want to succeed in a career and I do not think dressing professionally is the end of the world, however, I was still clinging to that style- unwilling to let it go for whatever reason.
However, I think this helped. Honestly. I needed to be able to see that style through the world's eyes. And in seeing it through a concerned family members words I was able to understand where everyone else is coming from, and how they see that- "provocative" style I was going for.
When it comes down to it though. I want to be a respected librarian more than anything else in the world. I want to be admired as I admired my cousins. And now I'm ready to become that person. That conflict really was an issue for me- and these photos was a manifestation of it in the worst of ways.
So this blog is a reflection about reality checks and growing up and figuring out who you are or want to be. It's about realizing I'm not that grown up yet but it's time to put the pedal to the metal on THAT goal. And it's about being thankful for those who provide those relaity checks.
Oh- by the way- the pictures are gone. And grad school apps are in. And maybe, I'm a teeny tad bit wiser now than I was a few hours ago.
Recently, I was thinking I had everything pretty under control, and for the most part, I do- on paper. But sometimes we all make stupid decisions. No, I didn't get arrested. Or thrown out of school. But I did get caught up in the recent phenomenon of the likes of celebs like Lady Gaga, Adam Lambert and a few other internet celebs who have recently begun getting media attention for pushing the status quo. Or something. I wont lie-I KNOW Lady Gaga weirds people out- sometimes she even does things that offend. It seems like it's the next big thing.
Now I for one, have never been into whatever the "big thing" is at the moment- but this has got me for some reason. I have always been into "gothic" style- real dark make up- chains, baggy clothes- stuff that weirded people out. And when I was a teenager I guess it was a very teenager thing to be into- right? How this started or why I cannot even trace. But recently I have been having a hard time letting it go and the recent popularity of these crazy celebrities was bringing out my inner 16 year old something fierce. I guess I wanted to become my own brand of gothic flashy. I really wanted some cool, outlandish pictures of my own.
Now, when I say outlandish, I mean prop wise. Make-up wise. Black make-up is one thing, but posing with tools and kitchenware is another. But in my mind it was so Lady Gaga- so weird and possibly unflattering- just what I thought the world needed in a sea of Britney Spears. Personally, I find the likes of Lady Gaga refreshing, unexpected and innovative- sometimes in the wrong ways- but that's why I was attracted to her and it was my motivation for trying to develop a gothic version of her style. I wanted to go against the grain in all sorts of ways. I remember writing "I wanna be bizarre and experimental!" and in my head- that's what it was. Experimental. Apparently, I didn't stop long enough to realize "experimental" can be done tastefully with symbolism and subtlety. But, being 21 and dazed by the media- I grabbed my digital camera, my black make up, and whatever gothic outfit i could find and ran off to show the world I was DIFFERENT too.
However, just like experimental doesn't have to be shocking- different doesn't have to be outrageous. Or distasteful.
Oh the things life teaches you. The hard way.
I suppose a little piece of me wanted to be provocative too. Not sexually so- I would never show skin to do so. But yes, provocative- it was that defiant inner 16 year old who wanted to rebel again the norm peeking her head out.
Anyway- so I ran around for a day. Made Christmas photos with knives and axes in a short black skirt. In my head it was a grand project culminating in innovation that went against norms and was my very own gothic brand a'la Gaga.
What it was in REALITY- was a collection of pictures that made me look mentally deranged, possibly emotionally unstable and definitely not a good role model for the younger memebers of my family. And THAT I want way more than whatever vestiges of my inner 16 year old was pining away for, waving mental images of celebrities across my mind.
Furthermore, that kind of action gets celebrities more record sales, magazine covers and attention they use productively.
I however, am an aspiring LIBRARIAN who hopes to go to grad school next fall. And provocation is not the way to get there. Nor is it a way to make my family proud. And that has always been my greatest achievement- making my family proud. It's how I measure my successes. They probably don't realize that- oh well, maybe they do. I have always been star struck by my older cousins- for far longer and in a far, far deeper ways than this silly pseudo obsession with the likes of Lady Gaga and her contemporaries. I have aspired to lead a life like theirs. I can't do that if I insist on indulging my inner sixteen year old. Nor can I if I fail to be the kind of example that makes my extended family proud to lead my younger cousins the way my older cousins led me.
Oh wait, story isn't over.
I posted my pictures on facebook. Yes. the internet. Granted a somewhat private aspect of the internet- the internet is nonetheless the internet. And facebook was where everyone I cared about was. And here I was, still not seeing what these pictures were REALLY portraying.
Here, I would like to say I soon realized that they were inappropriate and unprofessional and soon took them down.
I cannot do that. I was approached by someone I loved very much who was very uncomfortable about them. With every reason, especially considering the brash way I displayed them.
And well, then I saw them for what they were and the consequences they had- not just on a future job but in my mind- more importantly- by affecting how my FAMILY was seeing me.
It was then, I really did see a whole other set of pictures. I felt foolish and naive, and very, very much like a sixteen year old. Sure, I hadn't gone out and found a sketchy photographer and gotten explicit photos of myself that would forever haunt me but by my standards- this was just as bad.
And so, I was given a reality check. About who I really want to be, and what's important to me. About growing up and leaving whatever inner sixteen year old need I have to follow the lead of crazy celebrities BEHIND ME.
This is about realizing I have my OWN identity- my academic acheivement is something I want to define me much more than an adolescent style I haven't been able to let go of.
This post has been very important for me to type out- it's really allowed me to cement my new found goal of learning from this- and moving forward into being a professional, mature young woman.
I will end by admitting, I have had a reoccurring conversation with Chris about how conflicted I have been about leaving behind the style of my youth. Not because I do not want to grow up but because I have always felt beautiful in the outlandish makeup and clothing, I have felt most honest when basing myself off those outlandish figures that I considered to be beautiful and stylish. And I know that the world does not agree with heavy black make up, chains, spikes and ill fitting clothing as what is acceptable. I want to succeed in a career and I do not think dressing professionally is the end of the world, however, I was still clinging to that style- unwilling to let it go for whatever reason.
However, I think this helped. Honestly. I needed to be able to see that style through the world's eyes. And in seeing it through a concerned family members words I was able to understand where everyone else is coming from, and how they see that- "provocative" style I was going for.
When it comes down to it though. I want to be a respected librarian more than anything else in the world. I want to be admired as I admired my cousins. And now I'm ready to become that person. That conflict really was an issue for me- and these photos was a manifestation of it in the worst of ways.
So this blog is a reflection about reality checks and growing up and figuring out who you are or want to be. It's about realizing I'm not that grown up yet but it's time to put the pedal to the metal on THAT goal. And it's about being thankful for those who provide those relaity checks.
Oh- by the way- the pictures are gone. And grad school apps are in. And maybe, I'm a teeny tad bit wiser now than I was a few hours ago.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
So, I haven't updated in a long time. Not much has happened. Well I took the GREs, and I actually did okay on 'em. So that's splendid news. I'm driving my roommate to take them tomorrow, and I really hope she does well too. I've watched her study for so many weeks I'll be almost as crushed as she is if she doesn't.
I got my lowest grade of my college career today, and normally I wouldn't advertise this but I dont really agree with it. It's on a 1-2 page DANCE class response to a show we saw. And really not a huge assignment, and I didn't half ass it, but maybe the powers that be decided I couldn't go through my entire academic career without getting some form of a C, and better to have it happen now than in grad school. That's the take I'm taking on it. It's a lesson in humility or something that must happen before I move on to bigger things. Only since I really dont agree with the grade, I don't think it's working.
However, in the class I most expected to be getting such grades (on much more important assignments), literary theory, I am doing quite well, somehow.
In other news, I just wrote a poem about my mother that actually really really got me sad. Which is weird, my own poems rarely make me sad, but this one made me remember something I had nearly forgotten. I'd post it but I think it would make a lot of people sad too, I dont want that.
In good news: I have a gorgeous senior ball dress!
In bad news: My lovely boyfriend chris has the flu and it got so bad that it affected his asthma so much that he couldn't breathe. His parents actually called an ambulence and texted me while in class, which made me FREAK OUT for the last fifteen minutes of class. Well, long story short they didn't take him because he's contagious and they dont want flu people in the ER. Luckily they were able to help him and get it under control at the house. I cant even see him though, feel like such a bad gf, but really everyone is telling me to stay away. Which I will. He'll be better by senior ball, but if i get sick after him, it will be bad news!!!!
Since it's rather late I think I'm going to cut this short, have to be up early after all to drive roomie to her GRE appointment because I am just so incredibly nice like that.
Bye!
I got my lowest grade of my college career today, and normally I wouldn't advertise this but I dont really agree with it. It's on a 1-2 page DANCE class response to a show we saw. And really not a huge assignment, and I didn't half ass it, but maybe the powers that be decided I couldn't go through my entire academic career without getting some form of a C, and better to have it happen now than in grad school. That's the take I'm taking on it. It's a lesson in humility or something that must happen before I move on to bigger things. Only since I really dont agree with the grade, I don't think it's working.
However, in the class I most expected to be getting such grades (on much more important assignments), literary theory, I am doing quite well, somehow.
In other news, I just wrote a poem about my mother that actually really really got me sad. Which is weird, my own poems rarely make me sad, but this one made me remember something I had nearly forgotten. I'd post it but I think it would make a lot of people sad too, I dont want that.
In good news: I have a gorgeous senior ball dress!
In bad news: My lovely boyfriend chris has the flu and it got so bad that it affected his asthma so much that he couldn't breathe. His parents actually called an ambulence and texted me while in class, which made me FREAK OUT for the last fifteen minutes of class. Well, long story short they didn't take him because he's contagious and they dont want flu people in the ER. Luckily they were able to help him and get it under control at the house. I cant even see him though, feel like such a bad gf, but really everyone is telling me to stay away. Which I will. He'll be better by senior ball, but if i get sick after him, it will be bad news!!!!
Since it's rather late I think I'm going to cut this short, have to be up early after all to drive roomie to her GRE appointment because I am just so incredibly nice like that.
Bye!
Monday, September 28, 2009
Exciting News!
I am a featured student reader chosen to represent Holy Cross at the Massachusetts Poetry festival 2009. Check out the link to see my bio featured on the Worcester County Poetry Association's website!
http://wcpa.homestead.com/MASS_POETRY_FEST_2009.html#anchor_72
http://wcpa.homestead.com/MASS_POETRY_FEST_2009.html#anchor_72
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