Thanksgiving

So, I haven't updated this in quite a while. No worries, I'll get back into it.

So today was Thanksgiving, one of the rather rare occasions that my father's side of the family gets together. We all go out to a fancy shamncy buffet because my father and uncle don't cook. Though if they tried it would probably be hilarious and wonderful and great to video tape.

Unfortunately, I don't think they'd go for it. So, moving on. The excitement this year was over my cousin's new baby. He and his girlfriend came (they had three dinners to be at on thanksgiving!)with their 9 week old son Owen. And Owen was just one of those perfect babies. Not fussy, let himself be handed around, held, patted obsessively by my grandmother, the whole deal. He took is all with good grace.

I got to hold him twice. He was cute but at 9 weeks it was rather anticlimactic. Which can probably only be a good thing with infants- kind of a no news is good news thing, right? He sat happily on my lap, curled his fingers around mine, looked around. It was nice.

However, that side of the family isn't very easy to keep in touch with, especially since my cousin has moved out now. So I was tempted to reactivate my facebook to try and get closer with him and his girlfriend and keep up with the baby. I'd like to have pictures of the baby and comment on photos, maybe send some baby stuff to them.

So I was debating reactivating facebook solely for this. Still, I'm hesitant. I really enjoyed not being on facebook, but my cousin is barely on there even, I'd like to friend his girlfriend because she'd post more about the baby.

So facebook might be making a surprise comeback. Because Owen won me over. he didn't even try very hard, but I guess I'm a sucker.

Now I have practice holding an infant though, and I'll be ready if the opportunity comes up with a new baby expected Dec. 10 on the other side of the family! I would be thrilled to just sit with a sleeping baby in my arms. Hopefully I meet that new baby Christmas!

So, off to ponder reactivating facebook.

The Conference

Today I attended my very first day of my first conference. It's in Harrisburg and I'm staying at a hotel a ten minute walk from the conference which is in a Hilton hotel. I had a nice portfolio with a legal pad inside for taking notes, business cards and resumes in their pockets and a nice pen. Sure, okay, I didn't actually hand anything out, but I wasn't expecting to- they were just in case the occasion arose, which no one was expecting it to. But I was prepared. That was the point.

I attended a breakfast and then three sessions (each an hour and a half long) and a reception at the state capitol which included dinner, free drinks (lots of variety from what I saw, but I don't drink so I can't comment further) and private tours led just for us, well since we were the only one's there as it was after hours. Being in the newly renovated building after hours was SPECTACULAR. It's got other capitols beat hands down. We were given a tour guide by someone on the conservation team for the building and he had extensive knowledge of the process and history of the building. It was a fabulous tour- and they did several small ones so it was nice not to have to be crowded by people.

Here's a picture of the main area where the reception was I found online for a peek at what's got me so excited:





It was like being in a palace. All the art was renaissance style and spectacular. The food was good, desserts were lovely. I even ate some fruit.

Here's a room on the tour:



Anyway it's almost eleven now and I meant to do a longer entry but I've got day two to get through tomorrow and I must go to bed. And you wont believe it but there was even a hospitality suite back at the Hilton with more free drinks (it's funny, I'm fixated on this free drink thing though I don't drink- I'm simply shocked by it!) and socializing AFTER the reception until midnight, which I of course skipped.

Overall so far it's been interesting. I'm glad I came. I got to dress up in a suit and play professional. Sort of. More later. Hopefully!

Doing Well

So as I hope most blog followers can tell I'm doing better than I was ten weeks ago when I began the semester. I now have six weeks left, which both feels like nearly nothing and absolutely forever, depending on how I envision it.

I have ultimately decided to delete my facebook by this Sunday. I have offered my email and tried to encourage people to start an email correspondence with me and it has gotten a few friends interested. One friend and I are even going to write letter to each other and mail them.

Instead of opening facebook, I now eagerly check my email. I find it much more rewarding and it brings me a lot of happiness. reconnecting with friends is rejuvenating and I truly encourage everyone to email away. It makes my days brighter.

In other news, I have got ONE recipe down. Veggie Quesadillas. which may not seem like much but they are awesomely tasty. I am excited about this. I have faith in my ability to survive as a young adult in the world.

In other news, in under two weeks I will be off to my very first professional Conference in Harrisburg PA. We're even having a resume review between my student group for those attending to brush them up for when we go. I don't have much pertinent stuff on there, but at least I'll be prepared.

So that's exciting. I'm also trying to set up another internship, to no avail unfortunately. My email and voicemail message have gone unreturned and so I emailed my advisor, and that email is awaiting reply too. So it's my current mission.

So. Six weeks. the countdown is on. Well, it's a bit early, perhaps I should start it at four weeks. I'm rather eager for a break. Although I am not as emotionally distraught as I was, I still am looking forward to it being 9 months from now. This program will never be anything less than absolutely draining.

After this blessed break to update you all I will return to working on my literature review. I'm reading my 19th source out of twenty two I have collected- though they suggest more. I wouldn't mind finding more but it's only a ten- twelve page paper and I simply can do them all justice so it becomes a frustrating task. Alas, not the worst problem to have.

That's all for now :)

Thoughts on Facebook

Today's topic is facebook.

Recently I have begun wondering if the "facebook culture" is something I want to be involved in. And by facebook culture I mainly am talking about two known trends on facebook.

1)I have always cringed at the thought of deleting or deactivating my facebook but for a large number of people it is my only means of contacting them. Despite not being close to many, I had an irrational fear of missing out on their lives and doings if I did not have the ability to "stalk" them on facebook. Lately however, I have been questioning how much this really contributes to "keeping in touch" or even "keeping up to date" with people.

There is no meaningful connection to be had through a status update, and little can be said in a photo comment. these are all enjoyable things, but they are taking place of actual conversations. People aren't thinking about directly contacting that person in addition to the photo comment to ask about their life or even say hi. Facebook seems to contribute to satisfaction with a very superficial kind of communication.

I've recently started email correspondence with a few people and it has been wholly more rewarding, interesting, and thought provoking than any exchange I have had via facebook. I'm simply not sure facebook is something I want to invest my time in these days as it provides tidbits of knowledge but no meaningful connection with the people I was so desperate to stay in touch with.

2) The blurring of public and private: correspondence that would normally take place privately between two people is now open not only for everyone to see, but to become involved in. It's drastically changing our notions about what should and should not be private. Now facebook has had to come up with very complex privacy settings for people to exclude certain friends from seeing certain pictures or updates and it's all become quite messy. It makes me wonder if facebook is really an ideal system for communication at all.

This issue is explored in the New York times magazine Article which I highly recommend:

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/10/17/magazine/17FOB-WWLN-t.html?_r=1&ref=magazine

Basically it states, in terms of privacy, we are our own worst enemy. I believe certain discussions are meant to take place discreetly and privately and facebook has the potential to elevate drama and hurt feelings that are all unnecessary because people using it seem to forget rules of tact, consideration and thinking before they post.



So those are my facebook thoughts. While I wont be deleting it, I'm going to stop checking it and updating it so frequently. I think I'll be happier if I'm forced to make the effort for a more direct communication with people. On that note, I notice I have this blog being sent out to quite a deal of people who, perhaps because of facebook culture, passively "lurk" to keep up with my life (or delete it without opening the email :P) and I would prefer perhaps a reply, for the sake of connection.

However, my Holycross.edu email is gone, nonexistent, and I mentioned I have no been able to disconnect the comment/reply feature to that account.

Please email me at loopy6588@aol.com. I'd love to hear from everyone who may be reading.

Oh and this book was recommended to me, it sounds fabulous and if anyone was wondering what to get me for x-mas, I have a growing list of books that i cannot wait to read ;)

Hamlet's BlackBerry: A Practical Philosophy for Building a Good Life in the Digital Age [Hardcover] by William Powers

Some reviews:
“Benjamin Franklin would love this book. He knew the power of being connected, but also how this must be balanced by moments of reflection. William Powers offers a practical guide to Socrates’ path to the good life in which our outward and inward selves are at one.” (Walter Isaacson, author of Einstein: His Life and Universe and Benjamin Franklin: An American Life )

“A brilliant and thoughtful handbook for the Internet age—why we have this screen addiction, its many perils, and some surprising remedies that can make your life better.” (Bob Woodward )

“In this delightfully accessible book, Powers asks the questions we all need to ask in this digitally driven time. And teaches us to answer them for ourselves.” (Maryanne Wolf, author of Proust and the Squid )

“[An] elegant meditation on our obsessive connectivity and its effect on our brains and our very way of life.” (Laurie Winer, New York Times Book Review )

“Always connected. Anytime. Anyplace. We know it’s a blessing, but we’re starting to notice that it’s also a curse. In Hamlet’s Blackberry, William Powers helps us understand what being ‘connected’ disconnects us from, and offers wise advice about what we can do about it…. A thoughtful, elegant, and moving book.” (Barry Schwartz, author of The Paradox of Choice: Why More Is Less )

Looking forward to hearing from people, hopefully, if you're all still with me.

Strange thoughts.

Today while writing to a friend, a fellow writer (I do in some sense identify as a writer since I simply do adore expressing myself in the written form) I decided I would make an absolutely implausible book character. People would say "this character simply doesn't make sense, she's not realistic, no one would be able to connect with her as she's simply all over the place" and went on to have some self reflection on how I see myself.

I find I am an archivist born in the wrong generation for I'd rather we not have the option of transferring materials to computers at all, it's a hideous version of what is in it's original form quite amazing. I find manuscripts fascinating and inspiring, their very existence over generations makes me sigh in admiration for the power of paper and ink to overcome time. Therefore, in my academic beliefs I am about 50-60 years behind my fellow grad students and truly embody a 90 year old archivist in spirit. Paper is where it's at. Digitization is a necessary evil with many pros which I cannot deny BUT it simply cannot garner the love I have for the physicality of paper artifacts. I'm not a technophobe but I long for the olden days when it was all paper all the time, 100% glorious gorgeous paper.

However, I am also quite glam. I did my first shoot in Pittsburgh yesterday and had a ball dancing around to pop music feelin glamorous before I left. Truly, I aspire to be stunning. I am a bit of a rockstar- a la Adam Lambert style. Despite some controversial moves on his part I love his edgy look. I think that this:



Is super cool.


Meanwhile in my day to day life I mostly lament my financial ability to procure good coffee, have epic battles with Chris' cat when he is not around to see my true colors, try to resist the internet (ever since I heard of this book "The Shallows: What the Internet Is Doing to Our Brains" by Nicholas Carr- see my previous post), check for grades and emails to an almost ridiculous extent, go to bed by ten and spend what will end up a large chunk of my overall existence waiting for the bus.

All in all, I'm horribly implausible. I am just not believable and no one would possibly be able to relate to me or connect with my character. I am currently lamenting this as it makes me feel horribly alone in the world. If people can't connect to my hypothetical book self, how will I ever be understood?! (Only slightly tongue in cheek there. Reassurance still welcome).

At first I thought, wow I am so unique. But then I realized I am just strange. Strange in that if I could I would wear 4 inch heels, glam makeup and crazy styles while working among cold dark stacks of materials in the best of the best preservation environments, have money for chai lattes and coffee at the best of shops, and free myself of the pull of the internet entirely so that I could a glam scholar extraordinaire.

I think someone messed up and put two people in one body. And because of that no one will ever base a book character after me. This is tragic.

Woe.

Some book recommendations...

Today I attended a lecture of a very very influential scholar who happens to teach at my school. I know he's influential because his articles are everywhere and his books as well. In my research across several classes his name comes up.

But that's not the point. It's just context.

First he started out with the fact that graduate students complain they are assigned too much reading. He says he believes we aren't assigned enough. For an hour lecture he provided a three page list of citations for works he planned on referencing in his talk.

He said once he gave a doctorate student an 180 page reading list. And he was serious about how much someone in the profession must read. He said it takes almost a decade to really master a discipline.

He also said there are ten times as many graduates in this field as jobs. We have to do something to distinguish ourselves from the other 9 graduates to earn the job.

And then he said "The purpose of graduate education is to push you. To push you hard. And kick you a few times while you’re on the ground for good measure. Doctorate students by their third or fourth year are so bruised and bloody they’re following law students."

He said his own collection just one topic (I can't remember what it was) spanned two bookcases, floor to ceiling.

This all should have scared the bejesus out of me. Instead I was left feeling like I too wanted to read an entire profession's literature. In an amazing way I wanted to be so well read. I wanted to have knowledge that spanned hundreds of books. I've read maybe...15-20 books and maybe that many articles in a month and a half.

It seems measly now! How pitiful my tiny accumulation of knowledge seems in the vast oceans of whats out there. Sure I have the rest of my life to read but I wanted to be just like him the second I walked out the door. The man was phenomenal.

Here are some fabulous titles he touched upon:

Nicholas Carr, The Shallows: What the Internet Is Doing to Our Being (New York: W.
W. Norton & Co., 2010)

Is the internet affecting our ability to think? Does it have an impact on cognitive issues? This book takes a fascinating look at how the internet is affecting our neurological connections and wiring. Is the use of the internet in some sense "making us dumber"?

Personally, with how we dart from page to page, skim and click without truly absorbing the information or thinking critically, I can see how time spent on the internet erodes at our capacity for disciplined reading. People have no attention span to sit down and read a text for hours, engage with it, question it, reflect on it. nor do many even care to. The internet does not force us or invite us to think. Instead it cultivates a culture that is constantly multi-tasking, which only inhibits deep thought. I for one would be fascinated by his take on it from a biological perspective because I do believe our generation is lacking the discipline and skills it takes to be well read. I also find myself abhorrent of this possibility.


A for fun book: The Island of Lost Maps: A True Story of Cartographic Crime

About why people steal antiques/rare materials. It's been recommended in two classes. IT seems to be more a fun read than anything.



Anne Lamott, Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life

He said if there's one book to read on writing, this is IT. She addresses the necessity of conviction and belief in writing, how one must be called to write about something. While it seems simple, I think this book seems inspiring nonetheless.

Richard Rhodes, How To Write: Advice and Reflections (New York: Harper Books,
1995).

This book is another one on writing, it focuses on the importance of being a good reader in order to be a good writer. And by that being well read. One must know the good from the bad writing before one can write well and the way to know that is to read. I for one could not agree more. Though these unpolished, type and grammatical error-ridden blogs most likely do not reflect my reading at all unfortunately!

Anyway, the first book in particular has me pondering cutting my internet usage if only to read more. This Thursday I began a book and finished it that night, Friday I began another book and finished it today. Tonight I'll start a third book and hopefully finish it tomorrow morning. So 3 books, four days.

I have a literature review for which I need to read two more books and 18 articles so I really need to be consuming literature at a faster rate with more critical thought involved.

I want to develop the kind of discipline scholars seemed to have before the internet. I find myself annoyed by my generation's complete lack of ability to sit down for long periods of time with a text. I do believe it's crucial to be well educated and I believe to truly be well educated it takes an enormous amount of self discipline.

Though grad school may well be the most miserable year of my life, I do think it may well be shaping me. I'm finding I really appreciate a lot of old fashioned values of lots of reading, lots of writing, serious discipline, hard work and life long learning. My values are clearly taking on an academic shape and I find I want even more to surround myself with like minded people.

On that note, I'm planning on attending my first professional conference in November in Harrisburg PA with a student group I am an officer of (have I mentioned that? Well you shouldn't have doubted I'd sign myself up). I'll have to buff up my resume and print some off, maybe make some business cards. And dry clean my suits.

I'm also desperately trying to get another internship for one day a week on the weekends. There is a lot of red tape here, but I'm rather desperate for some hardcore archival hands on experience. I'm meeting with my adviser about this on Monday.


And as a side note: if you'd like to respond, for some reason despite my attempts to change it all comments go to my old school email and updating the address hasn't helped. Please email me directly for comments.

Just life.

So, a normal update (finally) methinks.

Not in a philosophizing mood (thank goodness because if there's optimistic philosophizing, I haven't figured it out), nor a particularly hopeless or angry mood (suppose everyone has their limits for negative emotions).

Currently I am bewildered at a professor who canceled the class before midterm, promising a video review for the midterm "later in the weekend" and yet so far has provided nothing. So I'm studying blind. This test could be anywhere from 1-3 hours, in any format covering any selection of information from class or the text. Oh and she hasn't posted the power-point from the last class and my notes are patchy because she FLIES through them. FLIES. Magically they whiz by. They all but blur as she clicks through them.

I should be petrified. Or studying like a mad woman. I am neither. I am simply amused. And far too unconcerned for my own good. The whole class is a bit (and by a bit I mean a lot) unorganized, with an often missing TA and a professor who, truly no offense meant, deserves to retire and enjoy her own academic interests. She is undeniably the frailest, tiniest, skinniest woman I have encountered in my 22 years of life. her voice is soft and she seems to put every bit of energy into making it through one 3 hour course. Of course she is a bit older than most professors, I wouldn't be so disrespectful so say ancient, but I do believe she has been alive enough years to be approaching or past retirement age.

This is no judgment but I can't help but wonder if it mayhaps is one factor in the course being so very disorganized. Ah well.

In other news, every now and again I look around and think, gosh I do have a nice living space. Most students are renting tiny apartments or rooms. Even before I was planning on Chris, roommates were out of the question for me. I suppose I am rather spoiled. I do like the space and independent living. This may be a problem as I would like more space and nicer things. I fear I may have expensive tastes.

Last night I was looking at real estate sites for this area. I always get dreamy at the insanely low prices of houses around here. my father also commented at how easily one could become a home owner here, and from the pictures, the houses (inside and outside) are lovely. Ah how i dream of being a home owner.

I would love to stay here if possible. I don't think that will be possible though. The thought of just applying to jobs anywhere and everywhere as I please is also exciting though. I mean, if I could just apply to the very best selection of job without worrying about where they are I could probably get a better job than if I am picky about location. So maybe it's a win-win. If I stay around here, it's good living, if I go elsewhere, it's an adventure.

I think I've lost track of the weeks, but I believe we are embarking on...week seven? I had hoped it was week eight. Alas.

In other news, I joined a rather stagnant meet-up group for photography/modeling. Seeing nothing going on, I posted an idea for a casual, low key fun shoot.

And people flew out of the woodwork. Suddenly I had ten photographers RSVP to the event, and people scouting locations and saying things like wow, there's hasn't been this much activity here in forever.

I can only conclude I am magical. However, ten photographs and one model is the makings of a mess. So then I had to start recruiting more models. Unfortunately they have not crawled out of the woodwork. Thus far I have... one. And the organizer of this entire group has let me to sort this out myself. Meaning I am in charge.

I really do love biting off more than I can chew, getting myself in over my head and plunging into to things I have no idea about. That's not sarcasm. I do need a bit of excitement in my life, even if it's in the form of wondering if I can make this not a complete chaotic mess. I mean it could be a miserable failure. All that stands between this event and MISERABLE FAILURE is me. ME.

I'm like superwoman.

This will hopefully happen next Sunday. And if it goes off without a hitch, my magical-ness will be confirmed.

Have I ever mentioned how much I really love blogging? I think if I kept it to this tone of playful nonsense, such as musing on my own magical nature, I could be a blogger with a following. Mmm egotistical-ness. Yum. (ego reminds me of eggo- those toaster waffles!)

So, still awaiting like three grades, muddling through my assignments (either in a psychotic perfectionist frenzy or extremely laid back danger zone) and getting myself into organizing events with no experience in an unfamiliar city. Oh and I have declared Chris' cat my arch-nemesis. Really, we have quite the relationship, the cat and I. He's troublesome and strange, possibly possessed or having an identity crisis. Quite the nuisance, this cat is, especially when he acts cute and innocent for days, trying to confuse me. I don't appreciate his trickery. I do not trust the cat.


And that is all.