The Day before Graduation..

So I guess I might seem like I'm spamming you guys right now but seriously... this is news.

My professor gave me his copy of Shakespeare's Completed Works... leather bound... gold leafed...from...

1867!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He knows I'm into old books and that I'm going into archiving. I was talking about how I thought older books were more beautiful and I really loved them so he gave me my very first antique book. And it's huge and GORGEOUS- with illustrations too! This book is seriously... amazing.

And it was his.

I was so shocked.

And touched.

(Still shocked).

Then I stopped by my old office at Study Abroad to say goodbye since tomorrow is graduation but I probably will be too caught up in the madness to do it then- to find they had a gift all wrapped and ready for me.

Two books of poetry, since they know I'm "The" poet!

One is the ONLY COMPLETE collection of Emily Dickenson's poems. All 1,775 of them. (Fun fact: only 11 were published in her lifetime). And another book of poetry by an author I actually don't know. And they even added the helpful advice of: don't wear heels tomorrow!

I came home and was delivered flowers from my aunt and the whole extended family from my mother's side and they are just the freshest more fragrant flowers I have ever had!

I just feel loved. And appreciated. And touched. And I was too excited not to share.

:)

That is all.

Graduation is FRIDAY!

Hello friends,

I just found out blogger.com is stingy with their email list and only allows ten email addresses. That means if you are getting this is in your in-box you are super special. And that blogger.com is lame.

As for this post, it is mostly nervousness/excitement/cyber flailing. Read on.

Moving on! I just got my seating assignment for Friday. Graduation. And the tickets have been delivered if there is inclement weather and guests actually need tickets. We get five. So far I have three coming. I'm also guessing it would be very not cool to scalp graduation tickets... even with the current economy (which should totally justify it)... so if anyone will desperately need them let me know and I will *give* them to you.

Or if someone wants to come and hasn't told me now would be the time.

Hopefully it doesn't rain though and my hordes of fans can come surprise me at graduation.

Right after they materialize out of nonexistence.

So, my biggest concern about graduation is that I don't know what to wear UNDER the gown. I mean I wouldn't really be taking it off until they pry it off my body ("Just one more photo op- pleaaaaase, just ONNNNE" I shall beg and cry in a glorious and well done dramatic fashion that will even have the theater majors in awe) but, as I know defeat is inevitable, when the moment cvomes I suppose I should have something nice on, eh?

This is a dilemma. I have plenty of COOL clothes. And tights like you've never seen- striped, heart patterned, insane colors, print... but somehow part of me wants to go out classy. And adult. And not like the walking billboard for Hot Topic that I am.

Unfortunately unlike probably 95% of the graduating class I am already a working girl and don't have time or money to shop. Well, everyone else has the time, probably not so much the money. Anyway.

I should be more excited. I'm just nervous. Take the diploma with your right hand shake with the left? Or was it the other way around? What if I walk too fast? Trip? Go the wrong way back to my seat because I forget what the 350 people before me do?

Because that WILL happen. I will be sitting there in a frozen panic for and hour and a half and probably not even HEAR my name.

The four years of college was easy. It's the two hour graduation that will make a complete wreck of me. This is why my life is endlessly amusing.

And to make matters worse, I have run out of quarters. Yes, this is just as important as me not knowing how to get through a timeless graduation ceremony that hundreds of thousands have managed.

Because the "Flavia" coffee machine at work takes two quarters for one cup of bad tasting (in about 10 flavors of bad tasting "insert flavors here" might I add!) but gloriously caffeinated coffee. And without my afternoon coffee I am sure I will not even be fit for civilized society come Friday.

But in other news, I have decided to show off what compromises my amazon Wishlist because it seems I am more interested in playing dress up than what an apartment needs.

Actually, the truth is, I don't KNOW what an apartment needs. So next year I will be screaming and flailing about helplesslessly when I realize I don't have pot holders, or a colander, or a welcome mat. Or something so important I can't even conceive of it in my inexperienced state.

So, instead I browse these things:

http://amzn.com/w/38USTGGCLW5G4

(edit: Ha oops that's under my dad's name since I signed the amazon account up under him and then started using it myself later on- amusing. Also those bathing suits look skimpier than I remember! I guess I get excited when on the Hot Topic website. I am actually a tankini with a skirted bottom kind of girl.)

Clearly I need guidance. I am intelligent and able to survive but really there will be SOMETHING I wouldn't have thought of in a million years. Tell me random things you cannot live without in what I am STILL differentiating as "the real world" while pretending I am not part of the larger "real" world of those who have moved into the working/bill paying world.

I think now I am going to go. I have a ceremony on Thursday where I am getting two poetry awards and after four years my mentor and father shall meet. I have absolutely no doubt this will occasion a post so full of happiness and awesome retelling that you should be in high anticipation on the edge of your seats pressing the refresh button. Then comes graduation. Then things will calm a bit until the epic trip to Pittsburgh, in which I do my first EVER apartment search and behold what will be my new home.

Should be fun. Bye for now friends!

Oh yeah...

I'm thinking of adding more people to this blog and keeping it up more regularly since I am going to embark on my next big trip!

Rome, Jerusalem and... PITTSBURGH, PA!

Okay, so it's *slightly* anti-climactic, but I will be having my very first apartment, living on my own, navigating a new city, and really who wouldn't want to follow those adventures?

I *will* be making them into epic adventures. Do not doubt this.

Besides, I have to cook for myself- that's a catastrophe waiting to happen.

Or I might just cause a boost in the cereal industry.

Either way, time to update on LIFE.

Graduation is May 28th, 2010. I'm a bit bummed because it's stupidly on a Friday on MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND. Really, Holy Cross is arrogant, thinking everyone and their Mom can take off work for lil ol' me.

So I felt uncomfortable asking people to come and made almost no announcement about it, nonetheless my father and a very good family friend and her son are attending out of sheer love. I am sure others would love to attend out of sheer love too. So. Ten AM at Fitton field if the weather is nice for 2-3 hours o' boring name calling and a commencement speaker whose name I can't remember. See, guests are unlimited if they hold it at the football field. And so far so good on that note. Oh, and there's a BBQ afterward. My last chance to prance around in my cap and gown before I have to return it.

I *know* I should be more excited about this. Really. I just don't know how to make a big deal about myself! Darn this modest soul I have (ha!).

Also, I have completed my first week at my new job, as an official 9-5-er.

It kind of "sucks" to put it crassly. To be honest going from four years of having small 3-4 hour shifts at work and classes that lasted no more than 2.5 hours MAX (seminars) is actually pretty difficult. It takes adjustment to get used to eight hour blocks of being in one place, doing one job. And my job has no variation. Or human interaction involved. So from college classrooms full of discussion and being surrounded by people, it's been a tough transition. Also I already know I need to be around people. I am not a cubicle girl.

So this summer will be a challenge, but I guess an important adjustment too.

Then I'll run off to grad school and forget all about what it's like to work full time and have to start over in a year. I'm so practical.

Oh yeah. Grad school. Well, until very recently I had my heart set on going to UNC. But, being the number one school in the country meant they didn't NEED to offer financial aid (and didn't). So, that was a let down. Luckily (so so so luckily) The University of Pittsburgh MORE than stepped up and offered me a GREAT 6 credit merit scholarship, WITH an internship and it's a 3 semester program, done in a year which minimalizes cost of living expenses.

So I will be graduating having spent LESS than half of what it would cost (all expenses included) to go to UNC.

THAT'S something to get excited about.

And I am taking a trip there with my Dad at the end of June to find an apartment. Terrifying? YES.

But then I get to decorate.

Also, today while blissfully wasting time on the internet I discovered the amazon.com "wishlist" function while looking for a way to bookmark my silly little wants. I had no idea it was actually meant to store wish items for OTHER people to buy for you!

But most of the items are SO unpractical that I don't think I could justify actually using it for that purpose- even with graduation and a birthday coming up. Not when I *should* be asking for practical things. Like... a new laptop. Ha. Mine has been begging me to let it go for my senior year. My fiance Chris has been engaged in a never ending battle to keep it going.

But what I *really* want is a parasol.

Why? Because. I have a new hobby of sorts.

Remember that long ago post from December (http://romejerusalemandbeyond.blogspot.com/2009/12/growing-up.html) about wanting to be creative and doing it in the wrong way? About getting out of hand and not being a good role model? Well I've found a better way to create amazing images, stuff that I could show to anyone.

I've been debating on how much I should say about it to be honest. I'm kind of paranoid about negative feedback, as some find me bringing it up immensely egotistical. It's totally legit and nothing to be ashamed of. I've tried few *for fun* modeling shoots. Basically I work with Photographers for free to update their portfolios. I get pretty pictures. In some cases free clothing. I don't think I'll ever have the skills, the body, or get paid so I wouldn't call myself a model per say, but I would say I've gotten involved in some hobbyist modeling- also because it's not something I'm going to do long-term/full time. But even so, I've had nothing but fun.

This is all legitimate by the way, I'm not meeting with with strange men- I'm going through legitimate, professional photographers with studios and releases. I've even gotten some professional prints. Unfortunately, I didn't know *what* to do with pictures of myself so i gave some to my grandmother on my father's side! The others are just laying around somewhere- i'm not even sure where! I'll have to up my narcissism I guess! Except... I've completely stopped wearing makeup and contacts except for shoots. I actually barely look in a mirror except to see that I'm neat and kept up enough for work. Oops.

And I never go alone even to someplace legitimate, and respected, simply because.

Example shot:




See? Nice, classy stuff.

My friend Val is a makeup artist who underwent a certificate program and is trying to get together a portfolio so these days I almost always go with her to be a model for her work because she can actually make a living off of this! And I really want to see her start getting paid and getting real clients! So for now while she's new she can count on me to model her fine make up skills!

This is probably jut a summer thing, but it's been very fun. And I'm trying to modestly and slowly let people know about it because it's starting to become something I really like.

So, that's life at the moment. Boring job, fun hobby, exciting future move.

And graduation. Oh yeah. That. I keep forgetting.

For my other half, with love.



Miscarriage

I did not know what to say
Or how to heal you
In the bright glare of the hospital lights.

It was the second time now
And you seemed so broken
That nothing could make it right.

I wanted to take those shining tears
You would not cry (you were so brave)
And make them into crystal shapes

To make you smile again.
Today I woke up and wished
I could take your pain,

Wrap it up nice and tight,
Paint it gold and turn it into hope.
I wanted to color you a future

Of happiness and white out
All your disappointments.
But I still don’t know how.

My hugs seem hollow
And useless in the face
Of death and crushed hopes.

But now I know you’ll heal
Without the golden ball of hope
I don’t know how to make, or

The crystals shapes I do not have to give
Because last night you showed me your
Strength in those tears you did not cry

In the pain you did not let win
and it was more brilliant
Than shining crystal and gold,

And I know you will be okay.


Flyleaf- Fully Alive

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-d3RYW0YoEk

Grad School update!

So. First big news in a while.

I was accepted to UNC Chapel Hill for Grad school (my first choice).

Unfortunately, the financial aid info and figures have not come in yet, so I cannot say where I will end up. Also, I should probably at least wait to hear from the other schools. I'm trying not to get ahead of myself. Or get overwhelmed by the thought of looking for housing and arranging for my first time REALLY living away from home.

That's pretty scary. Okay, really terrifying. But it's exciting that I was accepted into a phenomenal program and that my future is starting to take shape. And all my hard work is finally paying off. Which motivates me to keep it up!

Now, everyone hope I get floods of mail about financial aid and offers from other schools so I'm not waiting around to make things actually HAPPEN!!!

I feel such exciting news should warrant a longer entry, but really that's about it for now. Ironic. I've been waiting so long to be able to post about grad school and now I find I haven't got much to say...yet.

News!

Hello all,

Time for an update in the life of Amy.

I have a summer job. Not ANY summer job, but a full time, PAID summer job at...*drum roll*

The American Antiquarian Society.

Even though I couldn't give them a definite end date since I don't know about grad school yet, I gave an estimate and promised more concrete details further on. I was so nervous applying, even though it's a summer position for college students, it's still a fairly competitive position and carries plenty of weight on a resume. It's pertinent experience at a reputable research library that's nationally recognized! So of course I still needed to send my resume and a cover letter and I was SO NERVOUS.

The assistant who I work with now said upon graduating college she got a job in special collections somewhere even though she wasn't exactly what they were looking for- they told her that already having hands on experience at the American Antiquarian Society had put her over the other applicants so she got the position!

The man who I emailed said they were planning two projects and he wasn't sure which they'd have me working on yet (he said they'd decided based on which had greater interest to ME when they got more details. How nice is that?!) but he ended the email with "Congratulations-you have a summer job!" so I'm guessing it's pretty solid.

I'm excited to be actively working in my field this summer. I'm so glad to be using all my time productively to get experience at every chance and not have to waste time at a summer job at the mall! It's so great that I'm being productive and giving myself an edge AS I get my degree that will hopefully make it easier to get a job when I get out of school (degree+plus experience seems to be a winning combo).

I'm so excited. I LOVE the people at the AAS, and it's an amazing place. If you ever have a chance, check out the website- it's incredibly impressive!! They have fellows doing work there from all over the country!

Furthermore, having a full time job will allow me to put away money for supplies I'll need for grad school- like miscellenous furniture, books, professional wardrobe. I will be able to get myself all set up!

Here's hoping more good news is soon to follow!

Good News

I am excited! My internship is beyond awesome. See, the woman who supervises me is always thinking of me- knowing what I want to go into!

Today she approached me with the possibility of working with the head of manuscripts. She explained that they had to lay off his assistant a year ago and there are PILES of manuscripts that need to be organized and boxed. She asked if I would like to dedicate one of my afternoons each week to helping do that. Since I want to ultimately work with archives, this would be great experience. Sure, it sounds awful intimidating (piling up for a YEAR?!), but of course I jumped at the chance.

Then she says with a sly smile, that she did of course have ulterior motives. Since this guy is a big shot in the archives scene, if i do more projects with him I can use him as a reference- and people will definitely sit up and take notice. Oh I was overjoyed. I wanted to be like thankyouthankyouthankyousomuch! YOUARETHEBEST. But of course, I politely thanked her for thinking of me in a more professional manner.

Then she asked what I was doing for the summer. I said nothing, but I'd heard there were some jobs around for the summer. And she emailed the guy I would be working with to ask him about summer jobs.

He said there would probably be some cataloguing positions and data entry jobs. And that I should send a note to the man in charge of hiring. "Note" translating into resume and cover letter of course! (omg my first professional application of my post graduate life!) And the woman in charge promised me I'd get glowing references from everyone in acquisitions of course!

I am hoping to do some work cataloging since it's more pertinent to experience I'll need. But dude, paid summer job! At a reputable research library! More experience, more references, more knowledge, and PAY!

I am all hyped up and nervous! I also don't know how to mention that I don't know when I will be leaving for whichever gradschool I am going to. I need to ask around on if i should bring that up now, later, and how and where.

I am just bouncing with gratefulness. She also mentioned teaching me a few important things to know just for the sake of teaching me- which is super nice! These people are really great! So that's so very nice news. I think I need to calm down some before starting my cover letter. I know it's just a summer job- but hey- it's a GOOD summer job!

=D Hope I get it!